“There's no great loss without some small gain.”
― Laura Ingalls Wilder, Little House on the Prairie
― Laura Ingalls Wilder, Little House on the Prairie
No matter who you are or what you do in life,
you have experienced or currently are experiencing
loss.
A family member, a loved pet, a job you thought would always be there for you, your home, a relationship, a marriage, health issues.
In these difficult times in which we live,
the list can, and does, go on and on.
Depending upon your sense of optimism, or the people you choose to surround yourself with,
these losses can be either debilitating, a minor nuisance,
or an opportunity to grow, learn, and be grateful (or remorseful) for what was.
The most difficult part about loss is looking inward to determine
what you could have done to avoid it,
what you can do to minimize the consequences to your current situation,
what is the gain you achieved because of it.
what you can do to minimize the consequences to your current situation,
what is the gain you achieved because of it.
In the end, what's done is done.
There's no going back to change what's already happened.
How you deal with your particular loss is what really matters.
I very recently went through a situation
where I was forced to question my thoughts and actions
concerning
spending, wants vs. needs and being a responsible partner.
It was hard. I tried unsuccessfully to point the finger.
That didn't work and I eventually had to admit I was wrong.
The loss?
A part of myself I thought was acceptable,
that functioned.
A familiar part of me that I had coddled
most of my adult life.
Now the veil has been lifted, and
I understand
it wasn't acceptable and it wasn't right.
A change in my viewpoint and actions has been made
and I'm a better person for it.
My relationship is healthier.
I'm more content.
I'm not done.
Not by a long shot.
I have more to cast away.
But this is a good beginning.
How do you handle loss?
Do you crumble, become upset, deny, accuse
or
take steps to improve and become stronger?
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Wonderful post, Nancy. I usually handle loss by letting myself grieve for a while. As long as I need. Then I usually end up feeling more grateful for what I do have and I have a more positive outlook actually.
ReplyDeleteI have not found the "perfect" way to handle loss yet... Currently I use a combination of denial, grief and determination - but maybe those are just the stages I go through.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I definitely have to get better at is just letting go...
(visiting from Auer Life / Just Write)
Oh good for you. I can already sense you are stronger. Learning life lessons never gets any easier.
ReplyDeleteOh this is beautifully written Nancy and your photos are amazing.
ReplyDeleteI think you know exactly how I deal, I am if you have not noticed an open book good or bad.
I do hope you can get on past whatever its it sounds like you are certainly on the right track. I am hereto listen I hope you know that.
Great post for all I am pretty sure we all have something at this time in our lives. Love B
Your photos are amazing and your thoughts about loss are so worth sharing. When our dog, Bandit, died I said I will cry for 100 days, well, two years later I was still crying thinking of him. This has not happened losing anyone else and I can't explain it. I still haven't dealt with the loss of Angel because she died so horribly of bloat. But usually, I am open and believe in sharing, crying, and doing what is necessary and then moving on. Thanks for this beautiful post, Nancy.
ReplyDeleteTalk about extraordinary. This post is so full of feelings that are familiar to most of us. We all deal with loss in such different ways...some move on, some don't. To me, moving on is healthier.
ReplyDeleteDeep down, we know what is right and wrong. When a situation comes up that has to be dealt with, it's not always easy, but in the end there is a sense of relief (and hopefully some compassion). To each his own.
Such a heartfelt post, Nancy. I have had deep losses in my life and have learned to lean on others more than I did when I was younger. I guess I have a positive spirit and always believe that things will be okay..and so I put one step in front of the other and life goes on. Being outside, having animals, appreciating beauty in the world...those things help soothe my soul. You are a strong woman and I would love to meet you for real someday.
ReplyDeleteLoss / Change can be debilitating. It's so easy to point fingers and not accept responsibility for whatever situation you may have found or find yourself in. Currently, in our household, both my husband and I have a lot of responsibility, with ourselves, our children, and our jobs. Our plates are full and we are in a constant state of doing and when something doesn't get done with both, equally point fingers and not accept what we should do, or done as the case may be. We both know is it because we are so tired, but I am trying to do better to not use that as an excuse (as often). I'm hoping that we soon can get out of our slump and can get on to brighter, better days.
ReplyDeletei think you are only human if you have a moment of cramp i messed up ... then you get over & move on. loss of any form hurts, stinks & really sucks (you like that word, so i thought it was perfect to be it in here) but it makes you a better person to have gotten through it with no big deal. no worries. you learn from it. going to face the day. later. ( :
ReplyDeleteThought provoking!
ReplyDeleteand
Beautiful images!
I loved this post. As you know, I am in the process of shedding the old and taking a hard look at life. You write about this so eloquently. Thank you for sharing your journey.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, heartfelt and timely Nancy.
ReplyDeleteDepending on what is happening I either get it taken care of or grieve and groan, then find something to laugh about and get on with it.
Usually the 'worse' it is the more quietly I deal with it; just like a wee one, if I'm quiet for long it's time to say 'uh oh'.
Sending gentle hugs.
I do the mature adult thing and pout. I thought everyone did. xox
ReplyDeleteExactly what I needed to read.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this,
You have helped me along the Way.
love & love,
-g-
Your words are so inspiring
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Nancy
ReplyDeleteMy handling loss depends on what is gone. Usually I grieve first. If nothing can be done, I acquiesce. The older I become, the harder it becomes to 'fix'.
Wonderfully written and lovely photos. We all react to loss differently don't we ? From my losses even though sad they have made me a better more understanding , stronger person and a love of life and whats around me I never knew ! Have a good day !
ReplyDeleteI'm sort of dealing with loss myself-the loss of faith in someone, and I have yet out figure out how to deal with it. It caused me to lose my confidence and I quit doing things I loved, like blogging. But I'm trying to move on. Your post was timely and beautifully written too:)
ReplyDeletei turn inward, i brood, i fret, i mourn. i have a hard time letting go...
ReplyDeleteNancy: Years ago in broadcasting, I was awaiting my relief on the air before heading for home. It was a bad week and I was hard on myself as my colleague and I exchanged conversation. In a mix of humor and being practical, he stuck out his hand for me to shake and said "Michael, welcome to the human race. You're only human, and you're a good person". In this regard, we're all "a work in progress, and better days are ahead, even when we may not see them. My best to you! ;)
ReplyDeleteVery lovely post - it's usually hard during a loss to understand the gain, however small, that will come. I usually wallow for a while, then decide that I have to move forward and try to figure out what I've learned from it (there's usually a lesson), and how having learned this I can use it to become a better person. I'd like to say it always works - well I always try, anyway...
ReplyDeleteLoss of whatever is dear to you is so, so difficult. But, like you, you can either buckle under the weight or find strength and realize the "gains" instead of the losses. Beautiful images to illustrate your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteHow profoundly beautiful, Nancy. Just beautiful.
ReplyDeleteLovely post, so true we all have had loss in our lives, This touched me:) Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteevery morning i ask myself before my feet even touch the floor, "what will I do today?"
ReplyDeleteand the same answer comes back, time after time -
"live"
Nancy, you got it ;)
Beautiful post! It's never easy.. dealing with a great loss. I've become better at it with age. I'm much more willing to admit my mistakes here in my late 40s. And loss still hurts, of course, but i deal with it better now. My twenties and thirties, when i look back, seem filled with denial and anger. Toxic for myself and for those who love me. I'm glad you've come out of your bad experience a better, stronger person. A life lesson learned, and good for you! Wonderful photos, by the way. Peaceful, and there's a lot of strength in them..
ReplyDeletebeautiful post nancy...
ReplyDeleteWonderful post, Nancy. I grieve my loss and try to move on, however, moving on is really difficult. (Baby steps)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, sad, hard, tough and finally optimistic. Thank you for that post.
ReplyDeleteYour thoughts about loss are so beautifully written, Nancy. Loss is and always will be my biggest "problem". I just crumble. Always have, always will be, despite a Major in Psychology. xo
ReplyDeleteA beautiful (and heartfelt) photo essay Nancy...
ReplyDeleteAmid external crisis I'm solid and strong until the storm has passed. For me, it's then that the emotions storm the castle gates of my self control.
Introspective self evaluation is so painful - it's easier to avoid - even when pointed out, without doubt. Yet there's such pride in being able to to say "I was wrong or I should change". Moving beyond old habits is surprisingly liberating (but only once it's retrospective, battled and achieved lol)
Thank you for sharing so very openly...
Such a well written piece, Nancy... how do I handle loss?... I'd like to believe I try to learn from it and move forward, but I know that hasn't always been the case.
ReplyDeleteNow you got me thinking. I am more of a positive type of gal. So I would say I try to learn from my losses. If I can! Not always easy!
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful post. And gorgeous photos.
Hugs~
Wow Nancy! What a powerful, thought-provoking post! I try to accept and, if necessary, learn from loss.
ReplyDelete*hugs* ♥
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written, and your choice of wonderful photos so appropriate. Congratulations and best wishes on your journey. I am ever the analyzer, so with each loss I am always looking for the lesson it will teach me. Sometimes they are hard lesson's to accept.
ReplyDeleteThe photos were very nice. For me, I give myself 24-28 hours to sulk and think constantly about the situation. After that I just have to immediately take steps to get myself to a good place.
ReplyDeleteHow do you handle loss? You just let it go.
ReplyDeleteThen you're free to wait for the space to fill up again. Nature abhors a vacuum. It always fills. The hard thing is just sitting back and letting it happen naturally.
There aren't too many words to write here to let you know how your words hit a chord with me. I have been thinking a lot about some things as of late and I think that is why I am in an emotional limbo. Your post has given me much to think about. You are a wonderful writer.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid my first impulse is to get defensive, but I'm learning to recognize it and look deeper and use the loss to learn and improve, trust and have faith.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful heartfelt and honest post. Loss is never easy, but I do try to always find meaning and purpose and look for a way to grow through the loss.
ReplyDeleteI can be kinda of childish about loss. Like, take a "why me" attitude. But as I get older I realize that of course that is not best. I agree, what's done is done and moving on is the best option...
ReplyDeleteAdmitting that one is wrong and correcting ones actions, thoughts is a good thing but painful... pruning is painful but very beneficial for growth... xo
ReplyDeleteReflective, honest, real . . . wish I was sitting with you rather than writing . . . profound introspection Nancy. . .
ReplyDeleteHi Nancy,
ReplyDeleteSome of the most painful moments in life have been those that taught me the most.
I know that is the kind of thing that many just spit out, but I have learned the hard way that it is true.
When I think about loss I think about attitude. My attitude always influences how hard or how easy it is to get through.
I've learned to go with the ebb and flow of things while picking up wonderful things along the way. There will always be loss, but you can learn from them.
ReplyDeletexo
breathtaking photos! i always try and learn from the day to day. and build from that experience. we are not in control of our destiny our God is and he has a plan we need to follow. take care!
ReplyDeletewonderful introspective and genuine post
ReplyDeleteI handle loss by trying to learn or gain something from it
at least I try to
Thoughtfully composed and beautifully written post.
ReplyDeleteLoss...First, I take care of business, then I do some heavey thinking about the loss followed by deep conversation with friends. I try to realize all the good I got from the person/situation/experience/relationship/etc. and then move on. Sometimes it takes a long time and sometimes it's quick. My ex-husband took his own life about 8 years ago...we were friends...I'm still thinking about that loss. XOXO
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post Nancy. I too, believe that there is always something to be gained from loss. It may be hard to see at first but if you really try it is there and most likely you will become a better person because of it.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said. We are retiring and moving away next year. While this is a Good thing, it also means that This year will be one of losses and goodbyes as the reality of these changes sinks in. Our last Christmas in our Whitehorse home, our last Yukon winter, the last time I set up a new semester for the programs I look after at work, and so on.
ReplyDeleteWOW! This is precisely why I am so happy to be blogging!! Thanks for this Nancy. I appreciate your honestly and willingness to grow and move or push your way forward. I know it takes courage and lots of energy. You have both in spades. And I am so happy to have met you!
ReplyDeleteJim
Insight can be painful.
ReplyDeleteYour words and photos together make a huge statement.
Beautiful photos and some important truths there. Lovely post!
ReplyDeleteI like your take on the prompt. Reads very much like a poem and is truthful. I find it interesting how we both focused on loss for this one! Great job.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful, Nancy!
ReplyDelete~Tiffany
http://tiffanyd22.blogspot.com
I really enjoyed the way you wove the photographs into your words while linking the prompt to both loss and personal growth.
ReplyDeleteI wish I handled loss with more grace, but I have a hard time with it. I try to remember that all of life is a give and take.