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| Textures courtesy Shadowhouse Creations. |
(Not wanting to be preachy here.
This is me talking to me.
If you care to eavesdrop,
I have no issue with that.)
Although the concept of peer pressure is often related to our teen years, the truth is,
in my experience, it never really went away.
Even in my early 50s, I sometimes feel the tug of wanting to fit in with the group.
What group?
Whatever group I happen to find myself in at any given moment.
Relatives. Acquaintances. Friends. Photographers. Bloggers.
It's common to want to emulate those individuals that display desirable characteristics
we don't believe we possess ourselves.
Especially if this person or these people are successful in their respective lives.
If we copy these people, we will become just as successful.
It's a logical assumption.
Problem is, the definition of success is not an easy one to grasp.
Perpetually chasing the next new thing to find personal fulfillment
is usually a fruitless task.
If I only had this, or if I were to do this,
I will be as happy, prosperous, wealthy
-- as are the individuals I admire.
Now, that's not to say, I can't learn from others' experiences.
Because I can.
The trick is not to strive to become a carbon copy of the mentor.
Failure to recognize this fact keeps the journey moving forward,
or backward, as it were.
Feelings of inadequacy and jealousy often rise to the surface.
Not good.
My thoughts on the subject --
the only group, gang, bunch, faction, posse -- to be concerned with --
is that exclusive group of one.
Me.
The things that make me feel content and rewarded are as unique and unmatched
as my individual DNA, upbringing, life experiences.
I guess what I'm saying here is, it's perfectly okay to learn from the best,
but be confident enough to discover and grow your own personal success.
Because at the end of the day, I am unique, I am special.
I am peerless.
And so are you.
-♡-
Beautiful words, Nancy. And the photo is so soft and lovely.
ReplyDeleteThat was lovely. I'm glad to be rid of most of the peer pressure I've experienced in the past, but it still creeps up on me from time to time. I DO want to fit in, deep down. But that kind of thinking really does take away from the qualities that are uniquely ours. I'll keep trying to remember that I'm "peerless" :)
ReplyDeleteWere you eavesdropping on my conversation with my 14 year old daughter last night? Such a hard lesson to learn.
ReplyDeleteKathy
Very nice ideas, I enjoyed readinng them.
ReplyDeleteSpot on, Nancy! I couldn't agree more but I confess to a lack of confidence and never being good enough on many of my days. Other days, I could care less what others think. ha!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your profound and wise thoughts.
Nicely put Nancy. Just tell any doubts to hit the curb! And remember that there are plenty of folks out there striving to learn from YOU each day :-)
ReplyDeleteSo, what is it we all want to fit into? What group? Who ever started that anyway? I just made my own group, and it includes my husband and those I love... family members. All of the other 'groups' just don't matter and for the most part don't even exist for me. But, you my dear, you can be in my group any old time.
ReplyDeleteJust beautiful Nancy... I am happy just being me... I have a favorite quote I will share with you here... "Within your heart keep one still secret spot where dreams may go" ~ Louise Driscoll Wishing you a beautiful day, xoxo Julie Marie
ReplyDeletebeautiful nancy...i don't want to be anybody but who i am!! it took me a long time to learn that, it took me a long time to feel free to just be!!
ReplyDeleteWell said- thanks for allowing me to listen in.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful! Nancy, my friend you are spot on. I learned many years ago that I'm the only one that can make me happy. It's wonderful to learn new things from great people, but I'm still me.
ReplyDeleteI felt peer pressure for years...I always wanted something else, something more, something friends or acquaintances had. Then I had an epiphany, when I realized I didn't know their whole situation (and how bad their situation actually was). From the outside, everything could look rosy, but no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Nancy! I'm so happy I fit in at my little farm, everybody loves me the way I am. I like to leave the popularity contests to the idiots of the world.
ReplyDeletebeautiful Love note. xxo
ReplyDeletewe all still want to be liked. :)
ReplyDeletethat was lovely and inspirational!
ReplyDeletelove this beautiful, arty image of a flower.
what a great start to the day!
xo
I so so so wish my grandson could learn this - I guess it does take time and maturity though. Great. sandie
ReplyDeleteI'm drawn to your perspective, both visual and "spoken" in the form of your written words - even the placement on the screen.
ReplyDeleteSuch a hard lesson to learn.. one that many don't learn. I still struggle with this! At work, home, with family. Love the photo!
ReplyDeletewell said... and timely... I will be sharing with my daughters.. never too early to start learning...
ReplyDeleteBeautiful words and photo Nancy!
ReplyDeleteGreetings from cold Croatia.
Beautiful picture with a unique perspective~perfect for your message of uniqueness. I love that you chose the right align for today's post.
ReplyDeleteBeing a herd animal, I really understand that need to belong. It's not easy some days.
ReplyDeleteWell said! Hard to live by, but expressing it in a gentle and powerful way to yourself is the first step to making it easier! (and by "to yourself," I mean every one of us to ourselves!)
ReplyDeleteLove the "from the top" view of the flower! Your words are so very true, we would all do well to remember them!
ReplyDeleteI think we all get caught up in "I want to be just like her" syndrom...thinking that whatever she has or does is perfect. I want to belong to whatever tribe she is in. Thank you for that gentle reminder that we are who we are, and that is enough, I am enough.
ReplyDeleteI love your words Nancy and the soft, delicate image that accompanies them.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. I think we're pretty close to the same age, too. ;)
ReplyDeleteLove this post, Amen sister.
ReplyDeleteVery well said. I think we all at one point or another are under pressure or do not think we are good enough. I'm still finding out who I am and what I want... It bugs me sometimes that I still did not figure it out... :)
ReplyDeleteI love your words, and the image is very nice!
ReplyDeleteHave a great day.
Eva
Very well, and gently, spoken Nancy.
ReplyDeleteBeing who we are is the best way to live but not always easy for anyone.
ReplyDeleteI think about this often. So much that I sometimes wish I hadn't found the online photography blog world. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but I find myself envying others and desiring their approval. I don't want to be like that, but it happens. Then I am forced to step away from it for a while to get some perspective! Great post!
ReplyDeleteAmen sister. Peer pressure is always around us, provided we are around or involved with others. I think we see something we like and can easily forget who we are and/or what we (we being collective) are about. I strive to not compare myself to 'x' because that ultimately serves no purpose except to bring yourself down, so unless I'm in a downer mood, I am me. That's a lot of typing. Peace out.
ReplyDeleteI love this. It's so true...we can learn from others as long as we remain who we are and keep what makes us unique. Well said.
ReplyDeletewell said Nancy....
ReplyDeleteBeautiful photo and words.
ReplyDeletethis is beautiful and truthful....
ReplyDeletewe all want to fit in....somewhere.
multiple times. in different places.
all we want is to fit in.
you made me think of "the help"
you is kind
you is smart
you is important
{thanks for stopping by}
I don't think the desire to fit in ever goes away... we all need to be connected to others, to like and be liked. Although I 'worry' less about it now than I did at a younger age...
ReplyDeleteI am looking at me from every angle.
ReplyDeleteAm I a relust from a piece of carbon copy?
glad to be here and reading your post! such a wonderful post. and I agree too... and oh the photo is lovely too :)
ReplyDeletehappy WW!
http://thelayugan.blogspot.com/2012/02/sunflower.html
see yah!
This is brilliant.
ReplyDeleteSure we all have that "want to be like someone else" mentality but we need to remember we are not them. They are not us. We can grow to learn from them but we will never be just like them.
And what's wrong with being just you?
Not a damn thing ;)
Very thought provoking post Nancy.
You have some very wise words here. I think you are right. Peer pressure is always around us no matter our age. Viva la difference!
ReplyDeletexo Catherine
Nancy ~ I love what you've written here. So good! And beautiful photos.
ReplyDeletexo
So true- We want to think we have outgrown that urge to be like others in whatever "group" we are in- but I think it is human nature to want to fit in. I think the ones who stand out are those who follow their own path and make their own place in this life.
ReplyDeleteVery wise thoughts to go with these lovely photos!! And so true
ReplyDeleteGreat thoughts to keep in mind. I feel like I'm in a group of one sometimes-and I guess that can be scary-but in my "party of one" I find my most creative spirit. Go figure.
ReplyDeleteYour processing is wonderful...I prefer the 2nd shot with pop of color. Have a great day.
And-I'm noticing and liking that new header.
your words, written so gently, ring so true for me. these very ideas are on my mind a lot lately.
ReplyDeletelovely images to bookend your words...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteNancy wrote: >
ReplyDeleteThis is perfection. You need to frame this one!
Angie
Nancy, I was trying to quote you but for some reason it wouldn't let me. Anyway, I think what you've written is so tender and real and brilliant. Loved your thoughts, insights, and honesty. You should put what you've written into a frame and hang it on your wall. Its brilliant.
ReplyDeleteOh Nancy. You are in a group. A group of one. And when you're the one, that's a plenty.
ReplyDeleteDave would tell me, "Sandra, sometimes I wish you'd care just a little bit about what people thought of you." And I'd tell him, "I do care what the people I respect think of me but not the others. Nosiree; won't waste time nor effort on the others."
Take comfort and find happiness in the fact we'll never be the fattest, nor the thinnest; the shortest nor the tallest; the richest nor the poorest; the funniest nor the saddest; the... well, you get my drift. We're all somewhere in the middle and, in my case, past middle age and well into senior. Here's hoping I get as many healthy senior years as I've had young and middle years!
Well said, well said!
ReplyDeleteGorgeous photos, fabulous perspective. Thanks for sharing this with us.
ReplyDeleteI like what you said today. It's sort of like "have a love affair with yourself" instead of looking outside. Peer pressure has never been worth it as far as I'm concerned. That's one of the reasons I like your blog. It's different from mine. You take pictures of different things. Interesting things. And you have interesting thoughts. If you were just like me, what would be the point?
ReplyDeleteHow did I miss this delicate lavender carnation? I'm having a terrible time keeping up with my favorite blogs.... (When someone writes about a subject such as "peer pressure," I'm always trying to get behind the story to the motivation. I feel so out-of-touch so much of the time! I do love your blog.
ReplyDeleteFor some unknown stupid reason this was sent to my Spam...so glad I caught it. Peer pressure, a 'teenage thing,' does find its way into our adult lives. Some of us are lucky and find our footing early on while others, myself included, take time to learn we need to throw caution to the wind, get comfortable in our own skin, and take that risky step to be ourselves. And oh what a wonderful feeling of freedom that step is! Fabulous post and photo!
ReplyDeletei love the perspective and the editing on that first shot!!
ReplyDeleteThat last photo is just beautiful! Thanks so much for sharing!
ReplyDelete